I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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