in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize