I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
