Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize