It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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