If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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