When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
