there's paper in my vomit.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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