I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I deserve this hangover.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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