Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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