it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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