yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
