dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize