Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
