Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
