Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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