dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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