At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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