he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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