I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
