The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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