I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
