Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
did i just pee glitter
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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