My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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