So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
