Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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