What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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