Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
