I am in a vortex of obligation.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
