You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
