I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize