I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
