two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
