between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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