Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
