sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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