It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I can't turn off my feet"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
