Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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