i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
