HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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