is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
me + whiskey = a bad person
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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