People with herpes should wear stickers.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All the doctor said was why
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
