Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
