Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
