Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
