dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
