Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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