Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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