he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
