I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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