Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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