I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
