very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
