google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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