How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
